I don't like it.
It hit me a little just now, now i'm fighting for control of my mind again.
Because of my acting and hiding of my feelings and emotions, people in my life don't realise how hard it is just to stay in control. Something that no one thinks about, yet i have to fight for it almost everyday. As i said with my acting, most people do not realise when i'm on a bad day. Even the people that probably know me best.
Maybe it can be acceptable for me not to live in reality, life for me is hard enough as it is.
Sometimes i just think, why should i bother trying to be normal. Today i should be one complete mental basket case. But then that little bit of reality hits, ill lose my job, friends, family and wind up in a loony bin.
Whatever i do, its poo. So off to my little world in my head. Its always smiles there, Its ... perfect.
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